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Here are the early returns on the shortlisted candidates for the absolute morons of the year.
#3: Spotted from the pier at Fisherman's Wharf, San Francisco. It was raining and here is moron #3 sea-swimming with an umbrella over his head to.... blast it, prevent him from getting wet!!! In the forefront are good friends, Mahesh and Muthu, competent morons in their own right for agreeing to pose with Mr. Moron #3.
#2: Same location, different moron. This is from our touring party, a lad we went to college with. Sidarth is modest enough to deny he is genius material but even we didnt think he would scoop to this level. We were trying to watch Alcatraz Island from the main land through these binoculars at the edge of the pier. Having adjusted the focus, Sidarth insisted he would get a clearer and nearer shot of the Alcatraz if he thrust his camera lens right at the scopes eyepiece. Brilliance doesnt get better than this. I argued the alcatraz will be clear if we looked at the eventual picture through a binocular. Guess it was the lack of alcohol. I knew i needed one right away, but there is no doubt Sidarth is dumb, partially because he put his notion in public and mainly because, he allowed us to photograph him while in the act.#1: This is hard to beat and i do not have a picture. This is from a news report i read online somewhere about a guy whose house got burnt down. You would ask how, wouldn't you? Seems the asshole had a cat and he playfully threw the cat in his fireplace. The cat caught flames and ran all over his house, burning it down. I swear i didnt cook it up. I swear. Go ahead, laugh it out and say a word of thanks to peabrains like these. Your help in choosing the greatest moron would be of invaluable service to the community.
Impressed, inspired and encouraged by everybody's shot at writing short stories, i am following suit and here is my first shot...-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ramesh Rajan got out of the bar in downtown Phoenix and started his car. He pulled out of the parking lot and turned right at the red light. A cop car was on the other lane and the cop changed lanes, got behing RR's car and turned his flashing lights on. Unassuming, RR pulled over. It was only when the cop asked for his license RR realized he was a couple drinks down. He didnt have a buzz but still, he wasnt allowed to operate a vehicle or other heavy machinery. The cop had RR undergo a Blood Alcohol Concentration test and he failed it. It was supposed to read 0.08 (what a shame). It read 0.10 (for the sake of making this story sound beleivable - a couple beers do read 0.10).Anyway, he was issued with a DUI (Driving Under Influence), his license was seized, his company notified and he lost his job. Other companies wouldnt hire him, he fell out of legal status and had to return back home. He tried to pull some strings with influential people he knew but was immediately forced to leave the US to escape charges of trying to influence a government officer. Crestfallen, he boarded his return flight thinking " If that had been India, a 50 would have done it" when the air-hostess came to his side and innocently enquired "Would you like a beer, sir?"-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------This happened for real in my dream. It did and i was amused. I really was. To conclude, the moral of this story " If somebody asks you to follow your dreams, ask them go hang themselves." Also, dont worry. You can drink and drive. You wont get caught..
