Left in the lurch by a lift.

That's how unthankful things to which you are thankful are, man. Lesson learnt in life.
I do like the biggest writeup anybody has ever done on elevators right, outside of research papers, that is, which are anyway similar to my posts because nobody reads either. And i have to say mine are better because they take less time to create.

Anyway, these elevators are starting to get all cranky on me. No, i didnt get stuck on one, not yet, but its just obvious im going to be one of these days. I mean, if the law of averages can catch up with Sachin Tendulkar, who am i?

'Moving on', i board this elevator in the first floor, right and hit 2. I get all cozy and stuff inside because there was noone else, and i was just enjoying my ride, thinking what an asshole i had been to write like 2 pages on elevators. If i had written it on the cow, who knows, maybe i could have shown my mom and she might have been pleased. Actually not, upon hindsight, as every kid writes about the cow at some point of time in his life.. how many do about elevators. ...

And so the elevator came to a stop, the doors opened, and i was stopped in my tracks when i started to walk out because thats when i realized that its gone to the basement. DOWN when i had said UP. Basement instead of 2. I started to freak out man.

Thats when i see its a cute Indian girl whose summoned it. Ah, a twist in the tale, Mr. Archer, NOT !!

And she just enters, doesnt say hi or flash a smile, no acknowledgment toward the fact i was already there or any signs of guilt or uneasiness about how her summoning the elevator had delayed me to........... well, something okay, i forget, not that its important !!!!!!!! Not even the "Where are you from India?" or " Can you believe how cold it is outside". That usually lasts a ride between floors.

She just steps in and hits 1 when the 2 light was already lit up. Like she owns the elevator or something. Then she does the unthinkable, she starts to flip a file. Come on. Indians do not read files between floors. Its just not us. Moreover, like you can read it between basement and 1st... Whatever happened to elevator manners. I was gaping at her the whole time and she didnt even see from the corner of the eye if i was checking her out. All Indian girls do that. Where are you from India......

Okay i thought, i lost the battle, maybe i will win the war. Maybe it will take me to 2 first and then drop her at 1. That will show whose the boss. Moreover, i had just sucked upto elevators so surely they'll return the favor. I was ready to bet on it. No, it stopped at 1. If you want to hear the rest, like you havent anticipated already, she just left. Like she couldnt wait to reach to 1. And then the elevator, he is from the Thyssenkrupp family, (oh yeah, i noted that name), waited forever, like share auto drivers in Chennai do, to pick more passengers, found none and dropped me off at 2.

Man, I was demoralized. All i could was walk out and mumble like Zaphod "left in the lurch by a lift" while the doors slammed in my face. Thats it. Im moving my allegiance from elevators to... suitcases. Most of them even have wheels, you know.

That's how unthankful things to which you are thankful are, man. Lesson learnt in life.

Valentine Day Special.....

Just got done watching some V.Day special (yeah, pour some oil on the fire, you.....) on TV.

And the show was an interview about whether to celebrate the day or not....
And every now and then, we have a loser walk up and say 'Its stupid. Whats up with this expressing love on just one day an year. When you love somebody, show it everyday. This is once again just a big hype for marketing and advertising and people to spend their hard earned money on flowers, cards, jewelery and crap.. Thats what it is.. Half the people dont know about St. Valentine......." you know, sour grapes..

But again, every then and now, there is this kid that comes along where the interview about Shakespeare's Valentinian theory "To celebrate or Not to Celebrate" takes the following course..

Reporter: Do you celebrate valentines day(to aforementioned)
He: No
R: WHY ??
He: Why? Because i dont have a date, thats the fuck why....

That kid is me. A perpetual Helmet.....

For them that dont know about helmets, a helmet, although it is a a protective device, it usually (in modern usage) refers to a person that is either "not looking" or "prefer to say not looking" or "forced to say not looking" or "not having" (Stolen from somewhere on the www). In plain words, a helmet is a kid thats single, and whats important is that a helmet alone can steer an interview in the above course, that being one of the reasons why he is a helmet.

Although most people argue it should be 'helmetor' ( drawing a parallel to 'conductor' who conducts or 'driver' who drives, they shut up when we counter with ' What is the plural of fish?'). By some stretch of similarity and partly by the 'Same difference' principle, a helmet is a person who wears a helmet for not getting hurt when he falls down like this.

Helmets are almost always a flesh and blood male ( i dont know any female helmets and thats part of why i am a helmet), and most often, salt of the earth....

Anybody females interested in helping remove the helmet can contact by commenting below. All offers considered and most accepted.
(If you are a guy, do not even think of contacting pretending to be a lady who is up for it. I'm tired of that rubbish.)