Same Differences

Romit has requested that i post more and his wish is my command. Here's one for starters. And a happy 2006 to y'all i haven't forgot to wish through this post.
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Like Joseph Heller says in the Catch 22‘s introduction, “There is only one catch, and that is catch -22”. Likewise, the intro to this post is “There is only one difference and that is the same difference”.

This is inspired by the Catch -22. I have decided to write a book on something along the same/ different lines. It’s called the ‘Same Difference’. The following explains how I came up with it and how I explained it to JS’ cousin RD, who has since refused to converse with me.

RD: Have you heard of Norwich University?
Me: Yes.
RD: Yes what?
Me: What?
RD: Norwich University!!! Have you heard of it?
Me: Yes.
RD: Where?
Me: Right here. You just mentioned it.

RD: Ooh, Smart Alec, huh. Is that a wise answer?
Me: Not really. It was just funny.

RD: Seriously, Have you heard of Norwich University prior to my mentioning it?
Me: I guess I have.
RD: What do you mean ‘guess’?
Me: The name is not new. So, I might have. Also, I might not have.
RD: Okay, what might you have heard about it?
Me: I might also have not heard about it.
RD: Ok, what might you not have heard about it?
Me: Everything.

RD: Please tell me. What do you know about Norwich University? Have you heard about it or not? Seriously, Please.
Me: I have a feeling I have heard about it. I do not know too much about it, but I have a feeling it is in England. What do you want to know about it?
RD: Well, I actually know about it. I was just finding out if you knew. Its not in England, it’s in Vermont, US.

Me: Oh, okay, Thanks for the information. But where is Vermont?
RD: Don’t you know Vermont?
Me: I do.
RD: How come?
Me: You just mentioned it.
RD: C’mon, admit it. You didn’t know it, didn’t you?
Me: I know Vermont. All I asked was where it is.
RD: Ok, It’s in Northeast USA.
Me: Alright, what is the region called?
RD: It’s the New England region.
Me: So, is Vermont in New England?
RD: Yes, it is.
Me: And this Norwich University is in Vermont, is it?
RD: Yes. It is.
Me: So, This Norwich University is in New England, right?
RD: Yeah. Totally
Me: That’s what I said. I was right.

RD: No. You are not. You said England. It’s in New England.
Me: Alright, tell me what the capital of India is.
RD: Delhi.
Me: Wrong. It’s New Delhi.
RD: They are both the same place.
Me: What? Are Delhi and New Delhi the same place?
RD: Yes!
Me: Then, by same logic, how come England and New England are not same places?

RD: Chokes……….. It’s different.
Me: It is the same difference.
RD: What do you mean ‘Same difference?’
Me: Haven’t you heard of ‘Same Difference?’
RD: I haven’t and that because its just rubbish and you are making it up. There is no such thing, and there can be no such thing. Can you explain it?
Me: Of course I can. Same difference is a term you apply to describe a certain feature which are same and different at the same time.
RD: How can anything be same and different at the same time?
Me: What about the New Delhi/ New England case?
RD: They are not the same.
Me: They are not the same but they are not different either. That’s called same difference.

RD: You are insane. I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Give me another example.
Me: Alright. Take the case of an apple and an orange. What is the difference between an apple and an orange?
RD: Color, Taste…
Me: That’s all fine. But isn’t the difference between an apple and an orange the same as the difference between an orange and an apple?
RD: My god, there is a difference between the 2, but they are the same.
Me: There you go. Same difference, my friend, same difference
RD: This is absurd.
Me: It’s a way of life.

RD: Okay, what are you trying to say by all this?
Me: Nothing. But essentially i just wanted to say i was right when i mentioned Norwich was in England.
RD: No, You are not! Its New England.

Me: Okay, tell me what is the difference between the differences of 4 and 2 aand 9 and 7?
RD: You are insane..


And a few more instances of such insanities which i do not want to expose you to.

Please don’t steal my idea while im trying to come up with more ‘same differences’ which can then be made to settle into a plot I have yet to start thinking of to write a book that i never may in 30 years.

Actually, how does it matter, whether you do it or I do it? It’s the same silly difference.

And like the HitchHiker's guide says " From here on, anything, just anything, is suddenly possible."